For some reason this morning I am feeling so much joy and gratitude for my family, my home, and my life. It is a little weird because this week has been extremely difficult. We have all been taking turns being sick, the kids have been throwing up, Adam has been working 15 hours a day, I haven't been able to go grocery shopping so we have been eating PB&J and cereal for days, etc. Despite all of this I can't help but feel so thankful for all I have. I love my family so much. Every time I spend a little one-on-one time with the kids I realize what sweet spirits they are. Last night Ian and I played this silly game where you decide if certain statements are true or false. We laughed so hard, Ian almost peed his pants! It was bed time but we just couldn't stop turning the pages of the little book. I love when I put Hailey to bed and she has to give me about 15 kisses on each cheek. I leave the room covered in slobber but feeling very loved. I love how Brandon gets so cranky because he's tired but when I take him upstairs and he sees that I'm taking him to bed he starts smiling and laughing and patting my shoulder. I don't know if this is because he is trying to avoid going to bed or because he is excited to go to bed, but either way it's cute. I just can't stand how cute and sweet Jackson is. Sometimes he just lays on the floor and reaches for a toy and plays contently for a little while. He is so easy going (and he sucks his thumb which is so cute!). I love the moments I have with my children that bring peace and happiness and laughter in the middle of all the chaos and crying and fighting. I have come to accept that I have to do most of this alone because Adam has such a crazy work schedule, and I want to do better and enjoy more about this time of our lives when my kids need me so much. I have been stressing so much about a lot of things, but it's not worth it, they will only be little once, so why not have a little fun?
I am also so thankful that Adam is able to support our family. I have complained a lot about his job and the hours he works. It gets so frustrating at times, and at this point we have to communicate through emails because he doesn't have time to talk to me at all during the day. I am starting to feel like the murmuring family of
Lehi.... I know, though, that it could be a lot worse. He doesn't have to go out of town, and when I really need him he usually finds a way to make it so he can help me. We have a wonderful home and everything we need because he works so hard, and I am lucky enough to stay home and raise our children.
I don't know if it's the season or just the good mood I was in after laughing so much with Ian last night but I am just feeling at peace with my life today. I think it is more Heavenly Father letting me know I am not alone even if I am physically. I am so thankful to know that He loves me and is helping me fulfill my responsibilities in this life. I know that it is by the grace of God, and the support of good friends and family, that I can do all that is required of me. And so I'm thankful.